I badly needed to talk to somebody today . Anybody .Dunno why though. Its been a wierd week so far . I kept myself busy with the diaries ive started . Choosing one template again looking for another one . And get this .... i found this really old template in my text files , use it and next thing you know , myroom tells me that it is made by someone yoyo or yaya and i dont have a link to him or her on the diary . Man this sucks ...
Now that i dont wanna work on the diaries , im all soggy . Dunno why ..!!!?.I get this icky feeling that im supposed to do something But what ...?!!! Suddenly everything is soooo complicated. MAybe its because of the Articles ive been reading .
Lately ive been collecting a lot of articles about contemporary issues . About discriminatory issues to be precise . Palestine for one . Im all weepy when i read about it but its not supposed to be this way . I know . know . But what can i do .... I am made this way .. I hate it but i really dont have the balls to take it the way it is.Man i suck !!
I no longer take interest in a lot of things i considered inevitable . Or so i thought.There is definately something wrong . I need to get this WIERD feeling out of my system .That is why i felt like talking to someone . Yaar , its sooo lame .Khair i'll survive . Ive noticed that if i just distract myself i can get over a lot of things .
Suddenly everything feels wrong somehow . Somewhere . Actually im wrong about wanting to talk to someone . Because being the kinda person i am, there arent many that i can confide in . Ill just sit and not talk about it . Just sit . DO nothing . Thats how its been . 26 years is a looong time . I have changed but im not this lucky yet .
MAy be i feel down because of the Articles . I saw those pictures aswell in which there is a Palestinian son barely 10 sitting beside his father under a wall both tryina dodge bullets . The next picture probably a couple of seconds later shows the wall riddled with holes , the boy's head barely in shape and the father leaning on his son's corpse . Enough to haunt me for the rest of my life were those eyes . The photogropher had captured the eyes in a way i can never express.They were cold , piercing yet moist. Even moist is not the right word .
I dont even wanna imagine how he felt . this is all too much for me . This has been happening since 1948 . Imagine . Just imagine . How can one accept this . No one can live through this .But this nation has been there .And all i can do ,all i do is write about them from the comfort of my room listening to the offsprings , sipping Coke , and dragging on a Marlboro . And i hypocritically ask myself ...." y them and not me ..?"
TODAY 
