Miniscule are the number of times I think twice about talking a chance now . In my days of juvenile hauteur , I made the mistake of uttering a lot of ideals … stating things which much to me discomfort have proven wrong . I couldve stopped dreaming but that’s what a child does . Dream ,I dreamt about a happy family ….. a happy childhood .As I scrape the carcasses of my desires now , I feel a gash , a pain . It is definitely not my failure . It is their failure to cherish this comfort .


Why am I talking about this now . Cause this little altercation about acceptance and approval of this civilized world made me smile .There was a time when the civilized world carried weight in my jargon . Which part of the civilization are we talking about anyway . Wasn’t there a clash between the civilizations .How can we appease this civilization . Which part of civilization must we appease ,embrace . The part which professes preemptive strikes on the pretext of security or the civilization where single acts of illiteracy murders hundreds and renders thousands of innocents paralyzed. Or the civilization which has been on the forefront of every development yet the west refuses to acknowledge its existence .i am so sick of this civilization even . We refuse to abhor our acts yet we rant and yelp about the same when this transgression is beveled on our own kind . Only color matters today …for the cretin of course or mayb it’s the other way around .


Yesterday Maheen took every one by surprise .I was having the usual contemporary affairs discussion with my students . Maheen is one of the more intelligent ones . The sort of student a teacher looks up to . Someone without that fear . Without the Acceptability syndrome . She sat alone . Ate alone . spoke to no one . I sorta knew her background . Her mother came by in the PTA last week and mentioned about the abysmally deteriorating behavior of her father . I could well understand her pain when others from my class started arguing about the genesis and benchmarks of acceptability in contemporary civilized world . I wanted a reaction from her . I steered the discussion towards societal vandalism…. norms and family politics . Boy did I get a response . She launched in this frontal attack on conventional wisdom as compared to juvenile development and psychology and connected all the dots . She reasoned with everyone with remarkable ease . She proved that there are many wrongs in todays civilized world . I must admit I teach a bunch of hypocrites and the only kick I get out of it is when someone like Maheen rises from amongst them and shoves their morbid thinking right up their asses . She came after the class and talked about her home a little bit . She was smiling . I hope she gets the home shit in order pretty soon . She has a lot of potential . For my part ill be there … and she knows that .


We all manage to contribute to His plans . Somehow .