The funny thing is that the world wont let you live even if you stay away from them .


I think of kaami bhai and I feel bad for him .He’s the eldest son of my eldest khaala . The man is probably going crazy doing everything that his family wanted him to do but what he waned and she still refuses to acknowledge his contribution . I have spent a lot of time with him . Back in school days ,Id go to khaalaz and he’d teach me maths n stuff .When we’d get tired of studying , we’d play brian lara cricket 96 on a sega which he’d borrow from his neighbors . just for me . We rocked ; me and him . We’d play cricket , we’d go out and buy cd’s n shit .


Those were the good old days . He was doing his BCom , when his mother suddenly told him to stop pursuing commerce . This is the same lady who has driven one of her elder daughters crazy . Literally . I mean she is now mentally insane . I recall khaal taking her to some amil baba faqeer who gave her some water to sprinkle on her daughter . This was six years ago . She now sits in one corner , stares at the walls , talking to herself . Barah haal we were talking about khaala and kaami bhai . Khaala had already made him repeat his intermediate so that he’d get a better grade . For me , a 78% in intermediate is as good as it gets . The top ten provincial students would get not more than a 83 84 in those days . This im talking about 10 12 years ago . He repeated the second year because of her . Increased his percentage to 81 . Kaami was a very intelligent and cheerful back then .I met him a month ago and he was all quiet and skinny . Before I forget , his mother made him go into chartered accountancy after she made him complete his BSc which he did from NED .If I am doing the math correctly , she wasted 6 precious years . A few years ago he was working as an editor for a popular english monthly here in Karachi . Then he got a good offer from some pharmaceutical firm in Quetta since he graduated top of his class in NED . She didn’t let him go there aswell .


Sometimes parents can be so wrong . I vaguely recall kaami bhai mentioning something about Actuarial sciences when we met a couple of months ago . He is now working for some insurance firm . Actuarial science is NOT easy . I am ashamed that I haven’t been able to do much about any of this . When I met khaala last time , around 2 months ago … she was sitting with ammi complaining about kaami bhai . Kamran nay to kuch nahee kya zindagee bhar . I was so mad . She was comparing his pay scale to one of her acquaintance’s son z . I wasn’t too subtle about it all . I told her in plain words that she is responsible for his deteriorating health and his frequent job hops . Ofcourse she didn’t like it . But khair … I called him sometime ago so that if he wants , he can write scripts for us .He is an amazing writer . It’ll give him the space that he needs and hopefully freshen him up a little .


I have been focusing hard on Deen along with my Duniya .I still have a log way to go . Its hard . Im a sloth but im gonna strike a balance . I haven’t been such a big mess lately . Mashallah . Mashallah . Mashallah . Mashallah . Mashallah . Mashallah . You say Mashallah too .Waisay Something really absurd came up and sam is taking care of it . I hope she nails the culprit . I realized the world takes pleasure in spurning at people for no reason . They just cannot see two people trying to make the ends meet . They just have to barge in . Khair ….the book says that if someone wrongfully backbites you , your sins are forgiven . There .


Abbu called again . Asked me the status of work . I told him that I plan to stay here and continue at inteflow . Ammi said that she’s found some girls and she is going to send me some pics . I asked her if they’re willing to wait till im 35 . Hahaha . Before she could take it out on me , I handed the phone back to farah and walked out .


I started a long awaited task . I cleaned up half of my room . I got rid of a book shelf . Ill probably sell it and stack the books on one corner just beside my computer table . Im gonna get rid of the extra mattress which is occupying space . I need to work on my wardrobe . Yesterday in the morning , it took me a good 35 or so minutes to select which shirt i wanted to wear . Darn . IT is so not my thing . If I had my way , Id got to work in my pj’s .


Im changing . The ugly butterfly will soon come out but you wont recognize it .Im mastering the art of being invisible . I can be in a room with 10 people and they’d not notice me . Jeez im good . Shhhh …