At the expense of sounding silly , I must admit one thing . Even today after everything , I haven’t given up the centuries old notion of love and that it prevails .In some manner .It boils down to one thing . Whether we realize this or not . It can be a simple phone call , an email or even just an freaking SMS .My ability to cash in on these seemingly trivial gestures keeps me going .It has worked so far . Some times it gets weird but then at times everything falls right back in place . I had closed my diary thinking that I wont put it back up again . Thinking that it undermines me .Thinking that it is too explicit a statement from a man who has to survive in this society and not only survive at that … but achieve Nirvana . When I wrote Nirvana , I was 19 . I don’t think I ever posted it here . Its a little poem about a man’s solitude .The funny thing is that even today it rings true to me . Life is still the same . I’ve grown but even today I feel that its contents are contemporary .


Some one once said , yaar azey bhai life sux . I could only smile and pat him on his head . A boy who would call me often for no reason what so ever .Today I realize the importance of calling people up just for no reason .


The work goes on . I want to leave Interflow . The channel will take time and I feel I’m loosing valuable time .Even though I have a good position here , somehow I don’t like myself only as a producer few years down the road . There must be an edge. There is an edge . Now all that remains to be seen is when , if , I get to that edge .


I have a bunch of question marks around these days . I must start taking chances with my profession now .I must pay attention to my meals . Somedays I totally go without a twig altogether .That’s not good , Ammi kaha kartee hain .Sab ammian sahee kahtee hain with exceptions of course . Somedays I don’t get anything done .


Both my younger sibs go to MAJU . Yesterday four of their classmates died in a car accident . A heavy loader full of rocks and gravel fell on their car and killed four of the five occupants of the car . Needless to say it was chaos . I went to the quran khawni today . Its very sad . Last night ammi called and told us to be careful . She kept weeping . I can say I understand how I feel but id be wrong . I don’t have a son or a daughter thousands of miles away all alone . I reassured her . On my way back from the quran khawni , I called up a few people . I want to write about it somewhere jahaan more people read it and acknowledge the grave danger that these heavy locomotives pose to us and our loved ones .I’ll work on it this week


Some one once said , Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. I hope I have the courage to fight for things I believe in .For the people I believe in .