We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life , when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about .Someone once said , live everyday of your life like its your last day . Meaning one should try and make the most of everything . Its difficult , you might say and at times gets even worse depending on your upbringing . Actually if you’re brought up depressed and repressed then its difficult for you to extract the most from life . Even the simple things seem complicated .This hampers a person’s ability to think rationally .I know this because it has taken me years to be a notch better than I was yesterday . But Alhumdolillah I get better as each day passes . It has taken a lot of restraint and patience to not lash out at life itself ,to net be mean to people around , to smile and be there for them in whatever little way I can .I could not have done it without those few people who have been there in my life in the recent few years .They kept pushing and I kept improving . So , to life I owe this . I need to keep sharing this love . I admit , I haven’t really been networking lately and I guess that’s because I am focusing on too many things and not enough on one thing . The reason I recognize this inability for a person to think rationally is manifold . But related to one recent event .


Huma has had a difficult upbringing . She finds it hard to decide and stick to her decisions . My self in a previous life , I would’ve found nothing wrong with it because I have been guilty of indecision and gullibility . However the past half a year has been a blessing . Ive seen more and my canvas today is more , umm how should I put it .. has more color . More girth . More Khurundz . I have a few more wrinkles along my eyes but that just makes me a little more distinguished .Narcissism Eh ? .Anyways , I had been convincing her to pursue her ICMAP kay dreams .She wanted to do it but since her brother is going to study in UK , the financial viability was just not there .As a friend , I WANTED her to demand from me , anything that she though would help her realize her dreams . She promised to do so but when the time came , she didn’t and her alibi was that she didn’t want to burden me . Now though she wants me to understand this , I cant . Rather , I wont . Because it is this indifference from her previous friends and acquaintances that has brought her to this .Someone in the past should’ve hit her on her head and made her strive for things she wanted in life . Now she is just too used to giving up on things . If I do the same , if I understand , if I say .. its alrite that u are wasting a year of your life saying you didn’t wanna burden people than she’d get nothing done .I have to deal with this . I have to be there and YET make her keep digging . Its difficult . Its like a test . We’re working on it .


The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway . So I tied some loose ends last week . Emailed Miss Zaidi . She’s an interesting individual and I can learn so much from her . She has a interesting perspective on life , something which I admire though it just doesn’t fit in my Pandora box . Khair I made sure I be courteous .I returned sam the document she sent me day one . I don’t know why she disappeared but im sure she has a reason . With that document , she now has more perspective . I emailed Taha after like God knows how long . Told him stuff . He called . Wanted to meet up but I told him that he must write back first . Then the rest is the same. Alizeh emailed a bunch of pics from Boston . She’s having a ball there .Nice kid . Wonder where she’ll end up . You know you meet people and you instantly want them to be happy . Well I want to see her happy . Then Agha Ahsan Qizalbash nawab zaaday sahab wrote . He’s still in Okalahoma . We clicked ever since we met ten years ago back in my old neighborhood . He even called me a few times , in the middle of the night . Bus yaar Tum say baat karnee thee . Lucky Bastard . He can call me at 3am and rant about the cleaner’s daughter . =) .


Met Susan last week .She wants me to send in the application ASAP . She doesn’t know that I ain’t no fucking millionaire . So ill probably keep working at Interflow and will put pennies together until ammi or abbu return . Haven’t spoken to them ever since the accident last week .But they’re doing fine . Sister speaks to them everyday .


Work is going well . I miss ammi sometimes but every time I get a loneliness spasm , I get better quickly and quickly . At this rate , ill be all fine by the end of the year .Muahahaha.