The Fox


A fox looked at his shadow at sunrise and said, "I will have a camel for lunch today." And all morning he went about looking for camels. But at noon he saw his shadow again -- and he said, "A mouse will do."


As time grows on me , I feel I could’ve taken some decisions earlier in life . I had enslaved myself in wishful thinking . I was under the impression that people understand and love. They do .But it’s a fallacy if you feel you’re chivalrous and thus. They accept you because they have nothing to loose . Or they don’t care enough to contemplate . Life is more simpler than what the lore dictates . Be yourself . Do what you feel like doing . Love people all you can and do not expect them to love you back . This way you wont get hurt .And if you can actually do this , tell me . Id like to follow my own advise aswell . Id like to see how you manage to actually accomplish this.


Right now im both sad and happy .Ecstatic no more . Happy that im doing something that will add more depth to my portfolio . Sad that at the end of the day , I might be doing more than my share of work thus wrecking my health and peace of mind . Im after all not as astute as few others on the same project .I will loose to them . I wish I had a conniving mind . Happy that ive accepted this opportunity as a challenge and am working on it with fervor .Sad that I am not being compensated as I would like to be .Financially I mean. Happy that im forging relationships which im hoping will last forever . Develop into a bond which I can savor on more than one level. One in particular .Sad that this is only temporary and I will loose these people after sometime .Happy that id be able to provide for my family and become a cautionary tale for those who think giving up in life’s struggle is easy and the only resort . Sad that I might be made a cautionary tale by my family by not accepting this transformation .Happy that id be testing myself on more than one level every minute of the next few months .Sad that Ive had a history of poor crisis management . History tends to catch up with me. Happy that I feel revered and loved .Sad that when I’d get used to this , It will all go away .


Came to work early . We have a meeting at 11:00 am , the manager had said . Felt like a jerk waiting for everyone to show up . Even the fucking coordinator showed up after 12:00 .Mr Rehman rightly makes fun of me …. why are you even trying so hard , why are being so ‘extra’ efficient ? I have no answer . Ive always given everything my 100% , I said to myself and decided to shut up . My 30 seconds is your 30 minutes , the manager had once said .The jerk felt like himself .I didn’t bring it up .I couldn’t say much . I didn’t wanna be mean . After all …. What seema had said was just a question . She doesn’t think like the others , which is why I work here . This is an acceptable environment to work in .The manager should’ve taken it pragmatically rather than being defensive . But I can understand the pressure she is in .I cannot expect her to act all chivalrous especially when she is the eldest in the family and has to set the right example . I must show restraint . As slipshod I might be in real life for my own self and interest , I have to be unlike myself in this context . I will not demand .I will only follow .There are those who go all the way and there are those who can only go so far . This is life .


How I Became A Madman


You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen -- the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives -- I ran mask-less through the crowded streets shouting, "Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves."


Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.


And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, "He is a madman." I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks."


Thus I became a madman.


And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us. But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail is safe from another thief.